Does it really matter if I die tomorrow?
In September 2020, I stumbled upon this video of Casey Neistat. Casey tops the chart for me in terms of “influencers”. He has influenced my life more than any influencer could. For starters, Casey Neistat is a YouTuber who made videos for almost ~3 years, every single day. He is a self-taught filmmaker and his filmmaking style is probably one of the most unique ones you will ever come across. As such Casey’s every video is like a well-narrated Pixar story, but this one video left a long-lasting memory in my subconscious mind. I was heavily inspired and wanted to start running every day. Casey runs 10 miles (16.0934 KM) every day. Even though am fairly athletic, I knew 10 miles isn’t my cup of tea. So I started small — running 2 KM every day starting the 15th of September 2020. In a month, I was able to run 5 KM and I even attempted 10 KM after a couple of months.
One thing led to another, and I started Aniket’s Daily Mini Series, a video series where the idea was to experience 1 new thing every day and make a video about it, for 100 days. During the project, I did 100 super fun things ranging from learning the alphabet in sign language, taking a cold water dip in a Berlin lake, running a half marathon without practice, and going for a bike ride in the snow. I was making videos of every single experience and posting them on YouTube and Instagram. It was all fun and the fact that I was doing all this along with my 9–6 job made it special. I could see my passion and interest in video-making sky-rocketed.
In March 2021, I went to India to see my family. The plan was to go there for a month, see my family and also seek some amazing Indian experiences that could be a part of my project. Everything was perfect, till my entire family tested Covid positive at the start of April. I remember my 100th video, which was exactly the day I was Covid positive. I wanted to make an awesome 100th video, but since I didn’t have enough energy, I made a simple short video. What happened later, was probably the most horrifying time of my life. In the end, on April 27th, 2021, my father passed away. We all recovered from Covid except him.
I came back to Berlin on 14th June 2021, with a heavy heart. By the end of June, my quarantine ended. I haven’t run for over a period of 2 months, and so last week I went for my very first run after coming back from home.
Between my last run before leaving for India and my first run last week in Berlin, I realized how much has my life changed. I think losing someone permanently has a lot more than just missing that person. This kind of situation makes you question everything. Even your own existence.
Off lately I was pondering about a thought — we all want to get that promotion, those brand deals, that job in the big company, that vacation to the beach, those number of subscribers/followers, that amazing partner, etc. But I can tell you one thing. My dad had a family, he had money, and he had a house, but he couldn’t take anything with him. And today or tomorrow, we will be in a similar situation. And none of the above-mentioned things would matter. Nature’s law is, our life will end and we won’t be able to take anything with us. So what’s this rush, what’s this tension, and what’s this pressure?
A counter argument to this philosophy is, that if I know I will die, why shouldn’t I fight for that promotion, why shouldn’t I seek that job in a big company, why shouldn’t I go for a vacation at the beach, why shouldn’t I work to increase my subscribers and why shouldn’t I look for an amazing partner. I mean, we have one life, so why not.
I have no idea what approach is correct. But my dad’s death has helped me to come up with a framework that has helped me in the last few months to prioritize and decide things that I want to do. The framework is — does it really matter if I die tomorrow? Practically, this might not make a lot of sense in every situation, but it has definitely helped me to calm down when things have gone wrong or they didn’t turn out as they should be. I think my dad’s death is a second life for me, and as I move on and start getting active in my social, personal and professional life, I will always keep this framework in my mind.
